Elli Purtell July 6, Share this wisdom Tweet this wisdom. When it comes to relationships, I believe there are two kinds of happiness: Be wary of the formerand seek out the latter. I dated a couple of guys in my 20s. I dated one guy for two years, and the other for only two months. While the one partner onpine a really wonderful person, the other was kind of a slime ball.
What they did have in common was that butterflies online dating sites both made me feel positively giddy. I had an absolute blast with each of them, I never seemed to get bored. But there was a catch. When the giddiness ended, frustration and uncertainty took its place. The highs were really high, the lows were really low. Although I was over the moon every time they texted me, I remember being sick to my stomach waiting to receive those texts.
I would make plans, but they butterflies online dating sites cancel butterflies make excuses far too butterflies online dating sites. Onkine felt happy when we were hanging out but I was miserable in between, wondering if they felt as strongly dtaing me as I did them. At the time I convinced myself the thrill I felt was a spark, and the exhaustion I endured was hard work.
Because all relationships require those two things, right? I gave my partners credit for the highs, and blamed myself for the lows. Butterfliies I was disappointed, I told myself my expectations were too high. The day I met my husband I remember bracing myself butterflies online dating sites a similar roller coaster. I dreaded the moment that he would start playing hard-to-get, or send mixed messages that would leave me wondering if he was interested.
Instead, he told me he had a butterflies online dating sites time talking to me and would like to take me out sometime. I then prepared myself to never receive a call or, best-case scenario, oline a text days later with vague references to meeting up. Instead, he called when he said he would and took me out to dinner. It was just so easy. Instead of a buzz, I felt a deep sense butterflies online dating sites peace and dafing. I felt worthy and self-confident. I could finally be myself and love openly without fear of obline coming to a screeching halt.
Instead of diving in with reckless abandon, we took our time and built something strong. This passage from Dr. Robin Stern, author butterflies online dating sites The Gaslight Effectsums up datong relationship best: But is that so bad? What if your love no longer felt like a thrilling…adventure…but instead brought simply a comforting, secure, and enjoyable companionship? In our society, we expect and often receive the best of everything.
But if we want to be truly happy long-termwe need to block out butferflies pervasive message that true love will feel as explosive as fireworks. I believe true love what are the two methods of dating rocks and fossils feel simply, normal. Excitement, fun, adventure and laughter should be a part of every relationship.
I admit that my own experience may not resonate with, or make sense to certain people. After all, we all know that couple who fell head-over-heels in love, married after only a few months butterfkies dating and are just as happy many years later. And onlind of all, I never have dqting worry about the crash. Ready for conscious, like-minded individuals you really want to meet? My name is Elli Purtell. I love sports most intensely the Green Bay Packersmy book club, white wine, running, South Africa, and writing about relationships and love.
I was born and raised in Wisconsin, and although I adore almost everything about the state, I do not like cheese. Meet people in your community dedicated to mindful living. Check it out for free!
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